As I sat to write this, I wondered where I would start. Then I came across a quote I had saved by James Hillman, probably paraphrasing it, “Loss means losing what was. We want to change but we don’t want to lose. Without time for loss, we don’t have time for soul.” Aah! Another piercing of the heart. Another realization that I try desperately to get rid of my feelings of loss and sadness. Oh, I work with “feeling” them too, which I know all the Grief and Sorrow Experts say is important, but then there is this “Gosh will it ever end?” thought.

When I read something like Mr. Hillman’s words above, I realize that having time for loss can be considered a luxury in our culture. How sad. Even I, who very consciously make time and room for my grieving and mourning, realize that I want it to be over. I would like to say that I have a solution for this, that I found the great answer. I have to say that the only answer I have is to keep living in “the question” of how to honor myself and honor this “Grief-Love” as Betty Kovacs, PHD calls it.

Betty says that if you didn’t love you wouldn’t grieve, and that at the end of our Grief is a doorway to love, something like that. I am finding this to be so true. I feel intense grief and yet the LOVE seems to get deeper and stronger. Compassion also seems to be follow. I have becoming softer kinder without any effort on my part. I am watching it as a mystery, when I can allow all of this to flow through me. This may sound a little too spiritual or metaphysical for some, but honestly how can one consider loosing a loved one and the resulting sadness, grief and love that overwhelm you, with getting a little on the spiritual side.

I have spent the last 7 months since my precious Mother left this world studying, researching everything I can get my hands on related to death and dying, death, life after death, life after life, even reincarnation. I even spent $350 on a medium to experience my Mom, and it was okay, but my own dreams have carried more feeling and depth then the reading.

One of the last audio download programs on death and dying that I purchased is Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ “Is There Life After Death”. The night I listened to that and followed some advice at the end, I had the most vivid dream with my Mother. It seemed real as if it was really happening, and at the very least I am sure it would qualify as a lucid dream. I wondered why in the world I didn’t buy this before with all the money I had already spent. I had her “Death and Dying” program which was excellent, so I think I figured the “Is There Life After Death” one would be similar, was I wrong!

There are some awesome programs out there, and I will be sharing more, but if you are looking for a place start in terms of learning more about “Is There Life After Death” from one of the most credible sources, then Elizabeth’s program is the place to start. You can check it out here and even listen to a sample–> Life After Death

This is the first of many short articles and posts I will be sharing. I have wanted to share much sooner, but it is only today that I am revisiting my intent to do so.

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