Do We Really Know What Depression Is?
ByBefore addressing mindfulness meditation for depression, let’s take a look at the meaning of depression. What is it really? Maybe you have not considered this, depression has become medicalized, and a concept. So when we ask ” am I depressed? ” what do we really mean and how do we know that we are? Are we depressed as a concept? Isn’t there real “feeling” going on, not just thoughts? Is there a living, breathing “process” happening? If there is something called depression that could really be defined–wouldn’t it have to be a living process, since we are living beings? There can be no one-size-fits-all definition, although defining it this way, is the tendency for most of us, whether it a doctor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a lay person..
So…what might depression as a process look like? Is it possible that the reason(s) for the depression does not really have to be to our detriment, and if only we would allow the process, it is actually for our good? Let’s use the words “depressive process” so as to begin to see it more as a dynamic process instead of a static list of symptoms. Consider the true undefinability of depression. If you have symptoms a, b, and d you are depressed, BUT if you have symptoms a, b, and c, you have something else wrong with you, and don’t worry we (the professional and authority), will come up with a name by next week. Because when we have a name, then we can find a drug to fix it, and the beat goes on!
There is help for depression, but in our normal silver bullet approach, it will not go to the crux of the problem. Mindfulness techniques are really an unsung hero in this regard. Lots of research has been done on it and this is really good and worth checking out. For me, as I am experiencing it, mindfulness meditation does not deal directly with a concept (diagnosis) called depression. Something much deeper is happening. (Incidentally, this is how it works for any issue in our lives.) I am addressing depression by writing this, not just to publish on my blog; as it turns out, it has become an inquiry that I seem to be doing here as I write this and “feeling” you who may read it. Maybe you wish to follow along with me in this post and the next.
As much as I would like to never feel depressed, I am more interested in going deeper and not just understanding this as a concept, as an idea or to seek some pat answer, but to understand it at another level where I no longer need answers. Sometimes I “taste” this, or I would not be writing about it.
The surface mind wants an answer, the deep mind and heart has something much more profound and real to give us and to help us release the unconscious pain that is there. I see the depressive process as Nature or God if you wish, taking us deep to allow that to happen. If we think something is terribly wrong then the process will go in the wrong direction. (Of course if you are suicidal or something like that, you need to get help, as you surely cannot wait for the meditation to work for you. BUT you can still meditate and work with it on a deeper level.)
Unless you think I am someone who has gone mad, this is what Psychologist Robert Sardello has said, “The depressive process is the very process by which we digest the meaning of events at a level deeper than words, letting things “get to us” and change us. It is the process of deepening.” This can sound like another concept, and in a way, it is.
So, I personally, don’t ask am I depressed any more. I have an opened question now. My quest is not to get final answers, but to explore, and to allow what just may have no answer to emerge from within. I know this is possible because I am, although to a very small extent, living it now. You have, in a way, lived some of this yourself. Haven’t you grappled with a problem and then just given up only to have the answer or the clarity you needed just come to you out of the blue sky?
As I have said elsewhere, I see the light at the end of tunnel for the first time in many years. I only share below what I have used myself. I hope you come back for my next post. Some friends have wondered whether it is a good idea for me to share my deepest feelings on the internet- such as my poetry- which I intend to do in the future. I feel I should since perhaps it may touch you or someone else. This post is not too personal, but it is a beginning and it feels right.
